Bremen....with the Worst Tour Guide!!!!!!

Throughout my time here in Italy, my German friend and fellow employee exchange colleague, Uwe, kept bugging me to meet up with him somewhere in Europe.  The timing was never right.  I had some time off so I started planning a trip into the Umbria region.  Unfortunately constantly planning adventures gets tiresome! I was not in the mood to plan anything.  It is difficult being a tourist for three months! Ding! I received a WhatsApp message from Uwe asking how things were.  With little sympathy for myself I told him my horrible plight of not wanting to plan a long weekend getaway.  This is the moment Uwe offered his couch in Bremen and to be my tour guide in Germany!

Upon my arrival we headed to Uwe’s company, ILT, which is my company’s counterpart for all German shipments.  Once again I get to put faces to the names in the numerous email interactions over the past five years! After quick introductions and Uwe tying up a few things for the day we were off! Down the yellow brick road! No not really yellow, but it was brick!  We followed the clearly marked pedestrian pathways, not to confuse the also brick but a different shape and design layout for the bike path. First lesson and culture shock follow your designated trail!. Bremen is lined with designated bicycle versus pedestrian paths to streamline the traffic on the sidewalks.  The work day was over so it was a rush hour of bicycles! I have NEVER seen so many bikers and all of them in unison with traffic patterns.  Am I in Pleasantville right now??? No...no I am not because these cyclists are rushing home so walkers like myself better not be in their lane!

Arriving at his apartment the first order of business: GERMAN BEER!!!!!!!!!  Drinking a beer is easier said than done.  I observed Uwe quizzically as he demonstrated the proper beer pouring process. It’s just a beer…..pour it in the glass, click a cheer, and drink right? WRONG! Uwe would pour the cold beer into the appropriate glass……a Syracuse beer mug! Then he would vigorously swirl the remaining liquid in the bottle.  Then repeat the process. Pour and swirl, pour and swirl until there was the accepted amount of foam on top of the amber colored liquid.  Finally! Clinging our glasses I drank my first proper German beer! And it was sooooooooo good!

 Perfectly poured German beers!

Cheers to the 'Cuse!

On my first day I reminded Uwe I did not want to plan my trip in Bremen.  I wanted him the local to show this tourist the best of Bremen.  I had two requests: to be outside as much as possible and to eat local foods!............three if possible go biking!  So my tour guide gave me a run-down of the itinerary for the few short days I would be in Germany. First schedule event: biking to get some German grub!  Uwe scored a bike for me to borrow, which was just the beginning of the making of the Worst Tour Guide ever! I loved my bright lime green ride! I was ready to take her for a spin, so I ATTEMPTED to hop on her!  Uwe’s friend must be a GIANT because mounting the bicycle proved to be rather complicated for an average height woman.  Determined to go biking, I trotted along my green friend and vaulted the bike like I did with my horse as a teenager and started pedaling after my guide. Hah nothing was gonna stop me!.......Literally! How was I supposed to stop this massive vehicle?!?!? Here goes nothing! After breaking to almost a stop I would dismount off quickly and slow my steps to prevent crashing into someone.  Let’s just say I knew Bremen would not be boring!

Shout out to my brother in-law, Krishna!!!!! 

I biked by a restaurant in Germany named after you! 

Somehow I do not think the food could be as good as home cooking!

First meal in Germany........with of course another beer!

Schnitzel: Jäger style with mushrooms and of course potatoes!

Best potatoes ever!

After dinner, Uwe biked and I followed him running, hopping, and pedaling towards a park that followed the Weser river.  The park was a grassy area perched on a hill looking down at the running water with little barges passing through it and sail boats enjoying the light breeze.  The park was packed with locals enjoying the summer night.  We joined the crowd, finding our own spot on the dry grass and opening a couple of beers to relax in the setting sun.  The sun was not directly over us so we did not watch the sun set, but the park was full of its own amusements of musicians, walkers, bikers, skaters, and our own entertainment of catching up!

When the sun had set we went out for a night on the town!  Which really meant we went for a night bike ride into the center city of Bremen for a quick tour!

I had high expectations to get up really early and bike to the Crossfit box for their 7 am class. My guide was kind enough to call the gym several times the first night before getting a hold of anyone to make sure the foreigner could drop into the box.  In the morning sun, opening my eyes proved to be a difficult task, my head was foggy from all the beer. This was my excuse for the first day, but the remaining days I would never wake up to attend Crossfit.  Apparently I STILL have not learned in that I am STILL NOT a morning person and I will NEVER make it to the gym in the morning! So the call was all for nothing and I would forever be the Horrible Tourist! From this point on the Worst Guide and Horrible Tourist became this running joke throughout my short time in Germany!

While Uwe went to work, I slept in until 10 am then went for a run to kill time.  When my tour guide arrived just past noon it was time to go biking!  To minimize the risk involved with me stopping my monstrous two wheeled machine, we exchanging rides.  Uwe’s was old, noisy, but at least I could stop the bike without a mad dash off of it!  Off we went to a local park, Bürgerpark, with a maze of trails one could easily get lost in them!  There was so much to see in this park, rather than list them I have provided pictures!!

We have arrived at Bürgerpark!

                                        My Bike                         vs.                      Uwe's ride

                             .....Uwe's ole bicycle                            ....my original tall bright green bike!

 

WWII Bunker

An Ivy covered structure....

Gazebo?

Inside the Gazebo!

 

 Hello! Yay!!

From an Ivy window!

Stadtwaldsee Beach

Little did I know the park was just on the way to our destined route which was into the countryside surrounding the city called the Blockland.  I loved it!  Like Upstate New Yorkers looking for a getaway at their weekend camps, the people of Bremen also have weekend homes in the countryside.  They were similar to the camps in New York. Not in looks but functionality: spending time outside in nature.  They were tiny simple homes with beautiful gardens so the residents could escape urban life and breathe in the serenity around them.

Home Sweet Camp!

**This was a REALLY nice one! 

Most of them had less yard**

As we continued cruising along the road and the Wümme river, the camps dwindled and the farm fields swelled with crops and herds of cows. Pretty sure we passed more tractors than cars!  Not to mention a traffic jam of three massive machines on this small country road!

These tractors and fields belonged to actual thatched roofed farmhouses!  These humble red bricked homes looked like they jumped out of old folklore tales or childhood stories. 

 Storybrook!!!!!!

 

 

Pit stop to refuel

         ICE CREAM SUNDAE!!!!!!!!

Best Pit Stop EVER!

It has a SWING!!!!!!!!

Worst Tour Guide

waiting for the 

Horrible Tourist!

Uwe said a couple of weeks ago this building had a roof

now it is getting re-thatched????

(Is that a word?)

This is a where you can get on a "ferry"

A tiny boat (4 people max) that takes you across the Wümme River

The ferry could take you across to reach the two houses below

Or you take a road by car which is not as direct

Better question......Doesn't that house look like it is from a fairy tale?!?!

Early on our trip my tour guide asked me to choose left or right at the fork in the trail.  But I didn’t want to make any decisions pouted the Horrible Tourist! That is why sightseers have guides to choose for them!  Worst Tour Guide EVER!  I choose left, which was the right decision! Hahaha no pun intended! Uwe redeemed himself by spotting a stork in its nest! I have NEVER seen a real life stork outside of fairy tales! And to make childhood dreams come to life there was a baby stork too!!!!! Uwe has watched this baby bird grow every week from hatchling to now a fledgling! I freaking love nature! But most of all I loved this beautiful summer day lazily pedaling as I watched my childhood fables come to life! 

  

Our journey down memory lane was over and it was time to go homeward bound.  The sun was starting to set as we biked through Bürgerpark where our youthful journey began.  Of course I made the Worst Tour Guide stop and snap some pictures and selfies!

Taking pictures during the late afternoon sun

Who Done It Better?

                             Worst Guide Ever                       vs                     Horrible Tourist

Eventually Horrible Tourist was hangry, even though it was my sightseeing keeping us from food! It was time to follow Uwe back to his apartment for a quick rest before we cycled to the oldest part of the city for a Bremen meal.  Schnoor is the only medieval part of the city that was not destroyed during World War II.  Some of the streets were more narrow than any village road in Italy!  I could not really capture its size as the cobblestone roads were so slender!  Today must be the day of Grimm tales……or better described as the Disney reproductions with a romantic twist.  I am sure I was in Cinderella’s village!  Well if not Cinderella I did find Rapunzel’s house, which was one of the many tiny trinket shops lining the street. 

 

Redheaded Rapunzel goes to her shop!

Uwe picked a restaurant for us and ordered beers.  I have to give Uwe props, for being a Worst Tour Guide he figured out what my beer preferences were and always ordered one I liked.  We drank Beck’s beer, which is a famous local beer. What kind of Beck's I had, I do not know. Because I am the Horrible Tourist and never asked my guide!

Time to order some local grub!!!!  And right back to being a Worst Tour Guide! Uwe pointed out two Bremen dishes on the menu, then proceeded to remark how he would not eat either of these dishes! And I am supposed to eat one of them?!?!?!?!  Trying not to be the Horrible Tourist that I am, I closed my eyes and chose the Labskaus dish.  Here goes nothing!!!!!!! The waiter brought out my plate of food plus a small bowl of an assorted pickled foods.  My main dish looked like meat someone had just thrown up then put a fried egg on top and a pickle on the side. The bowl was filled with pickled beets, herring, and I have no clue what the white cubes were, but I ate it. Digging into to my plate for my first forkful of mystery meat, I was happily surprised to taste something familiar. Scrapple!!!!!!!! The pile of mystery meat in front of me tasted like the regional Pennsylvania Dutch brick of cornmeal, spices, and pork trimming meat I grew up eating with eggs during breakfast. But this meat is mixed with spices and potatoes and not served in brick form! Score! I loved my pile meat! Although the small bowl of pickled everything was a weird element to the dish. I ate it separately as not to spoil me delicious entrée! Pretty sure Uwe was surprised how delighted I was to eat this dish, because from this point on he told all his friends and colleagues how the redheaded American ate Labskaus! All of them would look at him wide eyed, then look at me, and ask for Uwe for confirmation that I actually ate it! Apparently this is a dish even locals do not eat!

Another Beer at an Irish Pub!!!!!

 

Ending the perfect day at the park

With another cold one!

The following day I met Uwe for lunch with some of his coworkers that I have corresponded with.  We ate at a Bavarian restaurant where I ate a typical Bavarian meat pan with THREE types of meats (I think from three different animals!!!)!!!  I do not like sauerkraut, but this apple flavored pickled cabbage was amazing!

****Where a bib! Trying to cut into one of the meats 

I somehow ended up wearing the sauerkraut and juices!!!!!!!

Still worth it! Soooooooooo Good!

We had some time to kill, so Uwe continued guiding me through the streets the Bremen before meeting up with another coworker who was on holiday but came into the city to meet us for dinner.  The evening was filled with food and beer!

 

The most Horrible Tourist cannot remember what part of the city this is

But perhaps the Worst Tour Guide didn't do a good job keeping my attention!

Town Musicians of Bremen!!!

Doing the touristy thing!

Trying to get good luck by donkey's hoof!

Weser River

Where all the Biergartens are located!

Klaas joined us for a few beers!

Taking a ride with the Musicians!!!

The next day we got an early start to the train station on our way to Uwe’s childhood home for breakfast. And more importantly to borrow the car so we could go to the seaside!!!!!!  Uwe’s parents live in a lovely home of gardeners.  The backyard and patio were beautifully lined with flowers and trees a swing set and two café style table and chair. His parents had an array of breads, fruit, homemade jams, cheese spreads, meats, and perfectly cooked soft boiled eggs.  I tried everything with lots of butter, because when in Germany eat like the locals right?!?!

If I had more time I would have stayed in the backyard all day!

Do you see the two sets of cafe table and shares in their own little private area!?!

                                                      But at least I got to use the swing!

After filling our bellies it was time to go towards the seaside! First stop Bremerhaven to see the port! Because we both work for freight forwarders, so it is mandatory right?  Ironically I did NOT go see the port in Livorno!  Opps!

The agenda for the day was to walk across the ocean to an island!!!!! This is a tricky to accomplish since I still have not developed my super power of walking on water.  But my guide had calculated when it would be low tide so we could trek across the ocean floor to the island!  We adjusted our plan because when we were to arrive at the island there would not be able to walk back before high tied and the ferry did not leave until 10 pm! So I was promised a carriage ride to the island and we would walk back to Cuxhaven! Unfortunately the Worse Tour Guide Ever timed the low tide correctly, but not when the carriages would depart!  When we arrived at the waterless beach the horses had already started their expedition to the island! Adjusting the itinerary again we would walk until the signal from Cuxhaven warned us that high tide was coming. The past two months I have been mastering the art of barely planning, because I have discovered I enjoy the ability to redirect the journey!  Horse carriage or not I was going to walk on the “ocean” today!  

It was a hot summer day with haze clouding a clear view of the island, Neuwerk. But that did not really matter because my attention was not on the destined landmass, but all of the horses!!!!!!!  Yes there were the touristy horse and carriages in the distance, but it was the droves of horse and riders galloping across the ocean that tranced me!!!!!! At a teenager I owned two horses that I proudly bought by myself.  I was part of a pony club where I competed in many different English-style events.  Every year the club would go camping along the Brandywine River and take the horses for a swim!  I loved riding. I loved horses! But for many reasons, some painful, I gave up riding and sold my horse.  I have no regrets in my decision and I know I will never own a horse again.  But I will always look at those years fondly. Anytime I smell dried alfalfa, the sweet smell of leather, even the scent of horse manure I am happily reacquainted to magical time in my childhood. Today was sensory overload! There was a rider getting a lesson, a group of ponies racing back and forth, and some older horse and riders meandering down the path!  Another sense tickled by this experience was hearing the stampede of clobbering hooves on the wet muddy earth!

Listen to the horses!!!!

One of the best part of changing our plans is I could tease Uwe ALL day about his tour guiding skills! For example instead of taking the “road” that all the tourists were taking we just started walking towards the island.  This proved to be a horribly wonderful idea!  We came across “rivers” in the “ocean” that we had to find a way to go around.  This resulted into getting ankle deep in the muddy ocean floor!  So the ragging on Uwe started early! Admitting only to myself I blindly followed Uwe knowing the journey would not go as planned.  I prefer taking my chances with detours, the road less traveled, the areas with the least amount of tourists even if we get stuck in the mud, because we just might love the unexpected experiences along the way!

"Rivers" in the "Ocean!"

Mud bath anyone?!?!?!

 

Snatch in mud?  No problem!

Our detour was halted by rivers too wide to cross and we were eventually corralled towards the designated path with all the other sightseers. But the road more travelled was still entertaining as we came across actual tour guided groups, a man-made dam in the middle of the ocean bed, “islands” consisting of mounds of mussels, waist deep water crossing, carriages and trucks passing by as if this was a normal road, tons of crabs, and of course beer.  Because what monument in Germany is without beer? At the halfway point the trucks that passed us earlier were parked like a food truck in the ocean providing a cool beverage!  Of course Uwe and I alike opted out of the tourist trap of an expensive beer and started our journey back towards the mainland beach.  The initial step on the sopping wet ocean bottom I knew we were not going to make it to the island that day.  But this expedition was not about reaching the original destination.  It was the amusement of walking on water? Almost!    

The Dam in the middle of the "ocean"

Muscle Island!

I am standing on a mound of mussels! 

 

Upon making it to land, although it never felt like we left land………we washed our feet and found a place to eat and of course to have a cold one!  The Worst Tour Guide Ever forced me to make yet another decision of what I was to eat!  But he did change my mashed potatoes to the sautéed ones that I fell in love with in Germany.  People joke that all Germans eat are potatoes, but in all seriousness the potatoes are AMAZING!  Not even the Italians can touch the art of cooking a potato like the Germans!

After a quick stroll along the beach to let our food digest we headed for home to celebrate…..my birthday!  At midnight I will be 33!  Uwe and a few of his friends took me out for a few drinks and have a few shots at some dive bars. I hate spicy hot foods.  I do not understand why people enjoy their mouths on fire limiting their ability to taste the food they are eating.  Well this shot made my mouth, tongue, throat, and stomach burn!  This is one signature shot I will NEVER do again, but I am told it is a rite of passage…….I think only according to Uwe! The remainder of the night we kept it pretty tame as I had a plane to catch the following morning! But we had a lot of fun!

 

The following evening I celebrated my birthday again with my Italian coworkers! And of course they had my favorite! TIRAMISU!!!!!!!!!  I am pretty grateful.  Not many people can say they celebrate their birthday in two countries in good company!